Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
