Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize