oh fat girl friday strikes again...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
