Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
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Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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