Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
