the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
