At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
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He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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