pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
