when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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