Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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