just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
