I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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