I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
