yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
