Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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