Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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