evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
