So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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