Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
