so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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