would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
