And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
she was so not down for the gang bang
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
