I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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