I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
