I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
