You really coming over, don't trick.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
