her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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