i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
