I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
