She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
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