with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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