I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
