he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
