You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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