Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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