Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Say something about gay babies.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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