sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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