So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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