I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize