i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
