He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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