She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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