I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
whose parrot is this?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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