I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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