Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
