my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
