Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
