Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
