my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
