oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
