she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
