areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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