I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
