1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
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i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
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How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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