i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
