My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Will exercising make me less horny?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
