The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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