I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
