Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
