You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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