Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
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