I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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