Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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