I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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